The death of novelist Anne Rice reminds me of a nighttime Carnival parade in New Orleans in the mid-’90s.
I was standing on the curb of Napoleon Avenue watching the floats when a long black limousine rolled slowly by, and someone behind me cried, "That's Anne Rice's car!"
Then a window of the limo came down, and a slim arm reached out and handed me a gold rubber rat.
I was an admirer of Anne Rice's descriptive power in her early work, especially "Interview with the Vampire" and "The Witching Hour." I reviewed some of her novels for The Advocate, and liked the way she described the mystery and decay of New Orleans through the eyes of a native.
Hers may not have been the hand presenting me my golden rat, but it's pleasant to think so.
Sugar rush
Paula King, of Gretna, knows our series on advice to LSU's Coach Kelly is over, but she offers this as good advice to anyone down here:
"Never wear black or dark clothes while eating beignets."
Which reminds me
In 2008, when I was co-host (with Sheila Stroup of the Times-Picayune) of a national columnists' conference in New Orleans, I wrote in the conference program advice for visitors: Don't eat Lucky Dogs while sober; don't wear your conference name tag on Bourbon Street, etc.
One piece of advice was to not wear dark clothing when eating beignets. I said being covered in powdered sugar would attract annoying ants and flies.
On the second day of the conference, a columnist from Canada came up to me and said, "I read your advice about beignets too late."
"Cafe du Monde?" I asked.
"Yes."
"Dark shirt?"
"Black shirt, black pants."
"Bad?"
"Snowman."
"Sorry."
Dumbing down
Gerald Wray, of Pride, says, "Recently in the local news there have been stories of extremely high utility bills.
"Months ago I received a letter from my electric supplier saying they needed to get in my yard to change out my old meter to a new 'smart' meter.
"I have been reluctant to let that happen, because Mama always told me 'newer doesn't mean better.'
"So they haven't changed it out as yet. Not sure I can afford the smart meter, so out here in the country I'll just stay with the dumb one.
"I would say 'I like them dumb,' but that may get me in trouble at home."
Mountain speech
T.W. says this about our seminar on Southern speech:
"Russ Wise talked about 'going into' being West Virginian for 'going by' for a visit.
"I was born in West Virginia and have worked in and visited the state quite a bit in my lifetime.
"To add to all y’alls bilingual edumacation, ‘you’uns’ is hillbilly for ‘y’all.’ ”
Plant by plane
Pat Ammon, of Metairie, says, "You had stories about old biplanes and their role in crop dusting. Did you know they are used to plant rice?
"Rice is planted by planes much as crops are dusted — usually in March, or after the threat of frost is over.
"The fields are 'flagged' to mark the beginning and end of the field. The rice, treated with an antifungal, is dispensed over the fields."
Nice People Dept.
"A grateful elderly lady," of Baton Rouge, sends "Christmas blessings to the four people who helped me locate my car in the Woman's Hospital parking lot."
(So I'm not the only one who emerges from a large building, looks around the huge parking lot, and has no idea where I left my vehicle.)
Special People Dept.
Jack and Becky Gromer, of Baton Rouge and Killian, celebrate their 53rd anniversary Tuesday, Dec. 14.
Pain songs
Ronnie Domas says, "On Thursday you mentioned the whistling dentist. My dentist, Dr. Dan Bankhead, can be heard singing all through his office, and even sings while working on your teeth."
Healthy Christmas!
Keith Horcasitas, of Baton Rouge, says, "With Christmas coming up and music so important to me, it's time to update a classic:
"I'm dreaming of a COVID-free Christmas,
Just like the ones we used to know;
Where mask-less faces glisten and everyone listens
To hear 2021's finally about to geaux!"